I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
