Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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