you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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