No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
