The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
