her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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