u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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