I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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