god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize