So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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