how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize
