we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
