apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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