shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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