If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
