i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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