No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
