your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
bring money and cleavage
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
