Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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