Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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