I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize