Buhtt sex?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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