Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
