Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
