O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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