How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
