I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
