Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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