im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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