he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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