I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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