I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
