I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Randomize
