i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
