I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
