Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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