Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize