yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
