so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize
