You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
