If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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