I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
