Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
