have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
