best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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