as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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