i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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