god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
