Grow some girl-balls and come out already
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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