Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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