I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
