I need help removing her.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
