Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
