The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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