I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
