I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Drunk is a universal language darling
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