I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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