If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
