Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm at about main and main street
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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