I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
