I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
