you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
