Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
