I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
