I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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