Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
