he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
