absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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