Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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