i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
